Season 1,
Episode 5

Joy Feels Like Betrayal

Ever caught yourself laughing—like really, genuinely laughing—and then immediately felt like absolute garbage about it? Ever smiled at something silly and heard that voice whisper, “What’s wrong with you? How dare you feel good when they’re gone?”

If so, sweet soul, this one’s for you.

Here’s what nobody tells you about grief: it doesn’t just take away your person. It also holds your joy hostage. You start believing that happiness is disloyal, that if you laugh too hard you’re somehow dishonoring their memory, that joy means you’ve forgotten or didn’t love deeply enough.

And that? That’s complete and utter bullsmoosh.

Joy is not betrayal. Joy is not forgetting. Joy is not moving on. Joy is your soul remembering that it’s still alive.

In this episode, we’re diving into the guilt that crashes in every time your heart dares to be light. We’ll explore why grief and joy can actually sit at the same table, and how your capacity for happiness exists because your capacity for love is enormous.

Because here’s the truth: your person didn’t fall in love with your suffering—they fell in love with your light. They loved your laugh, your terrible jokes, your ridiculous dance moves. What kind of love would want that light to go out forever?

Your joy doesn’t erase your love. Your joy IS your love—transformed, but still there. Every time you smile, you’re carrying their light forward. Every time you choose wonder over bitterness, you’re honoring everything beautiful they brought into your life.

You are not betraying anyone by being alive. You’re doing exactly what love does—continuing to bloom, even in the midst of winter.

Perfect for anyone who’s wrestling with guilt over moments of happiness, wondering if it’s too soon to smile again.

Earthling, your love is not lost—it’s just learning a new language. The porch light’s on, the door’s unlocked, and there’s always room at this table for your beautiful, broken heart.

My website is coming soon with resources, support, and more conversations like this one. Until then, if this episode touched your heart, I’d be so grateful if you’d share it with someone who needs to hear these words.

Still Held: The Harvest Path

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